The Most Valuable Question You May Ever Learn - Jack Canfield

As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.

Thomas Edison is reported to have tried over 2,000 different experiments that failed before he finally got the light bulb to work. He once told a reporter that, from his perspective, he had never failed at all. Inventing the light bulb was just a 2,000-step process. If you can adopt that attitude, then you can be free to take an action, notice what result you get, and then adjust your next actions based on the feedback you have received.

Ready, Fire, Aim!
Don’t be afraid to just jump in and get started moving toward your goals. As long as you pay attention to the feedback you receive, you will make progress. Just getting into the game and firing allows you to correct and refine your aim.

The Most Valuable Question You May Ever Learn
In the 1980s, a multimillionaire businessman taught me a question that radically changed the quality of my life. So what is this magical question that can improve the quality of every relationship you are in, every product you produce, every service you deliver, every meeting you conduct, every class you teach and every transaction you enter into?

Here it is:

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the quality of our relationship during the last week?”

Here are a number of variations on the same question that have served me well over the years...

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate…
• our service?
• my teaching?
• our product?
• this class/seminar/workshop?
• this meeting?
• our date/vacation?
• our performance?
• this meal?
• my coaching/managing?
• this book/recording/show?
• my parenting/babysitting?

Any answer less than a 10 always gets this follow-up question:

“What would it take to make it a 10?”

This is where the *really* valuable information comes from. Knowing that a person is dissatisfied is not enough. Knowing in detail what will satisfy them gives you the information you need to do whatever it takes to create a winning product, service or relationship.

There Are Two Kinds of Feedback
There are two kinds of feedback you might encounter – negative and positive. We tend to prefer the positive – that is, results, money, praise, promotion, raise, awards, happiness, inner-peace, etc. It feels betters. It tells us we are on course and doing the right thing.

We tend not to like negative feedback – lack of results, little or no money, criticism, poor evaluations, complaints, unhappiness, inner conflict, pain, etc.

However, there is as much useful data in negative feedback as there is in positive feedback. It tells us that we are off course, headed in the wrong direction, doing the wrong thing. This is priceless information!

In fact, it’s so valuable that one of the most useful projects you could undertake is to change how you respond to negative feedback. I like to refer to negative feedback as information for “improvement opportunities.” Here is a place where I can get better.

Ask Yourself for Feedback
In addition to asking others for feedback, you need to ask yourself for feedback, too. More than any other source of feedback, your body will tell you whether or not you are on course or not. When you are relaxed and happy, your body is telling you that you are on track. When you are constantly exhausted, tense, in pain, unhappy and angry, then you are off track.

Take time to listen to what your body is saying to you. Take time to listen to your physical sensations and your feelings. They are sending you important messages. Are you listening?

Remember, Feedback Is Simply Information
You don’t have to take it personally. Just welcome it and use it.

© 2006 Jack Canfield
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America’s Success Coach, is the founder and co-creator of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul and a leading authority on Peak Performance. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at www.JackCanfield.com

What does your goal map look like?

The last time we met we started working on our goal maps.

A goal map is simply a piece of poster board with various pictures and words that represent your goals or your ideal life.

Your homework is to make up your goal map and bring it with you to our next meeting. If you've done this exercise before, then do a goal map for a specific part of your life. (I'm going to do one just for my business goals)

The next time we meet is Thursday 14th September from 7 - 9pm in the PDM office.

Remember to bring R10 for notes. I will bring some poster board with me if you haven't had a chance to buy some.

Go have a look here at an example of a goal map.

The Origin of Success By: Freddy Davis

I remember when I used to do a lot of scuba diving. I lived in Okinawa at the time and it was a fantastic place to participate in that sport. The water was clear, there was a lot of beautiful coral and many varieties of tropical fish. On top of that, you didn’t even need a boat. There were numerous places where it was possible to just swim out from the shore a few feet and do a tremendous dive.

But in the beginning, it was quite a chore. First I had to take the diving course to become certified. You could not rent or refill tanks without showing your certification card. To get the certification, I had to learn things such as the theory and mechanics of diving, what kind of dangerous sea creatures to look out for, and all about the equipment.

After I became certified, I went diving as often as I could. I loved it and couldn’t get enough of it. Those early days, though, were rather tough. I was not used to carrying and handling the equipment. I was not used to operating in the underwater environment. I had to carefully think through everything before I did anything. After doing it a while, though, diving was almost second nature. Of course, it was always necessary to be careful and make sure that everything was working right. It would not be good to be sixty feet under water and something go wrong. But over time, with experience, it all became very natural. And the more natural it became, the more I enjoyed it. I started out as a person who wanted to try scuba diving. In the end, I became a good diver.

What else in life works like that? Actually, virtually everything works that way. No matter what we set out to do in life, the beginning stages tend to be a struggle. There are new things to learn and experience to be gained. We become more comfortable as we gain knowledge and experience. This is true whether you are talking about a skill, a relationship, a hobby, or even your job.

There is another area of life that this also applies to, and that is your success. I hear people talking about success all the time. The funny thing is, when you get to talking about it in philosophical terms, almost no-one thinks of it in terms of how much money is in the bank account. However, when just shooting the breeze, money is almost always the way success is measured. There is obviously a connection between success and money, on one level. But on another level there is a real disconnect. So, is the person who has money successful? Is the person who does not have money unsuccessful? The answer is “yes” on both counts - and “no” on both counts.

The reason both answers can be true at the same time is because there is more than one level that we have to think about. Money is only one measure for evaluating success. When you see a person who has a lot of money, the first thought is that this person has accomplished something good to get the money. But, in actual fact, there are other people who have been successful in fields where money is not the primary marker for success.

For instance, a person can be a brilliant parent and raise a child who goes on to become a fine person. That is wonderful success, but the evidence comes from the character of the child, not in the bank account. Another person may be a master musician and get huge satisfaction out of giving joy to other people, but not be using music to make money.

The bottom line is, success relates to accomplishing a goal, no matter what that goal might be.
So, what we are really dealing with is not any particular expression of success, but the bottom line meaning of success. Ultimately it comes down to an individual’s personal value system to determine whether or not success has been accomplished. Every person can become successful at the point where they put their efforts.

So, whether you want to be successful making money, making music, or making a good child, you can do it if you are willing to put forth the time and effort to make it happen.

This is an easy concept to grasp on a surface level, but an exceedingly difficult one to apply to life. It is easy because we can usually see some kind of tangible result which indicates whether or not we are achieving success. But it is difficult because the ultimate determination regarding success is an intangible – our own perception of our progress.

So, what does this mean to you? Is this just a philosophical discussion with no practical implications or is it the starting point of a tangible outcome in some area of life? The real life implications are that if you find yourself being unsuccessful at something (anything at all), the basic problem is not the thing itself. You are successful if you have accomplished what you set out to accomplish – regardless of the perceptions of others.

Here is where people get into trouble with this. Most want to put the blame for a lack of success outside of themselves. As long as it is someone (or something) else’s fault, you can’t be expected to do anything about it.

The fact of life is, if something in your life is ever going to be changed, you have to do it - you have to take responsibility for it and re-create yourself. And you can do it! Once you figure that out, you have taken your first step on the road to your success.

About The Author: Dr. Freddy Davis is the owner of TSM Enterprises and conducts conferences, seminars and organizational training for executives, managers and sales professionals. He is the author of the book Supercharged! as well as the “Nutshell” Series of books for strengthening business. Sign up, free, for Freddy’s twice-monthly e-letter, Nutshell Notes, at www.tsmenterprises.com. You can contact Freddy directly at 888-883-0656 or by e-mail at info@tsmenterprises.com.